archived movie reviews |
Saw - How much you will enjoy this movie depends on how forgiving you are on reality vs 'ok it's a movie'. It had a couple good moments, but basically it was like looking at those old Floria Sigismondi music videos. Style over substance. Not a bad movie, just rental only.
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Troy - All I really remember from this is a buffed up Brad Pitt. Made me want to get the hell off the couch and work out. You know, some stories have a much better impact in print only. This one could have funded a better cause, like rescuing a public school system. Also there were no gods. No gods = no movie. You could get wrpaaed up in all the nice costumes n sandles I suppose, but at the end of the day it's another one of those 'have you no honor' / cgi men n ships battle flicks you've seen a dozen times now. |
The Grudge (US version) - Decent. The additional scare scenes were pretty good, but really - how scary can a movie be when it's designed to scare at a 13 year old's level. Stick to the Japenese version if you want genuine scares and lack of dumming down of the story. I like the Buffy though.
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Friday Night Lights - As great as the critics made it out to be. Nah. Great movie? yep. Best example of why ANY athelete out there, even high school kids, should have the highest insurance policy they are able to get until they reach the pro's. One minue yeah! Next mintue "awwwww fuck my knee"! Billy Bob is on point as usual and the action actually hits harder than "Any Given Sunday" which is a favorite of mine.
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Mean Girls - FUnny flick. Every 5 years or so they come out with a teen comedy which breaks down the social order of high school while giving male viewers plenty of eye candy to look at (last one was Clueless). This one actually involves the grown ups though, like you acutally see parents n adult figures for more than 3 minutes. The story is really to silly to exlpain. Just sit back and watch over-developed supposely high school girls stab each other in the back while ignoring the world around them. The Japanese girls were hilarious. Also Tim Meadows as the principle was nipple pinch funny. |
The Forgotten - Interesting premise at first, but then it gets REAL stupid after the first 'shock' in the film. You have to wait awhile for it to happen. Kind of like those awful M Night films (minus the sixth sense which is a classic) where nothing makes any sense, but it's shot so stylishly complete that your alomst fooled into beleviing things do make sense. That's the Forgotten. Pity, I like Jullianna Moore (redheads....mmmmm), but she should have passed on this project until they had a complete story. |
Without a Paddle - I laughed a lot. Silly buddy movie. Seth Green is pretty funny as the pent up doctor thrown into crazy situations due to his more outgoing freinds. Funny rental. |
Yu On (the grudge - original version) - Interesteing movie. If your going to do curse / ghost story you might as well go all out. Japanese horror filmakers have a better sense of how to make creepy shit without being concerned on how your going to be judged by the squeemish. The story is what you make of it really, it can be interpreted any way you want. SOme creepy stuff in it. Glad I saw this before the US remake. The US remake better be better than this otherwise I'm going to be wary of people making great movies twice just because we here in america have a problem not seeing 'americans' on screen. |
Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind - Instant classic. What I loved about this movie (beyond having Kate Winslet in it, she's da shit!!) is that it takes a subject that has been run into the ground and made it interesting to watch again. I'm talking about Love of course. I'm sure many people wished at some point they could erase the memory of someone they cared deeply about, but as it turns out you could never truly have what you had without both the good time or the bad. In this movie Jim Carrey (this is the first 'serious' movie other the Trueman Show I've watched of his) elects to have his memory ereased after fidning out his girlfriend has done the same. He realises too late that he's still in love with her and wants it to stop. That's all I'll say on that, but I will add that one of the great things about this movie is that it's not just your mind that brings 2 people together, it's also your heart and where it takes you at that right moment. There are some incredible sequences FX wise as well because after all, a great majority of it takes place in the mind. Great movie, and I hope Charlie Kaufman keeps writing treasures like this. |
Shaun of the dead - Very funny. Not really scary of course. More of a statement in the way we live our lives in relation to the living dead. What's the difference? |
Sky Captain - THis movie is really for film & graphic artists. It's a decent flick, but I can see why it fizzled in the box office. It's one long money shot. Nothing to really talk about other than how the movie looked. I'm sorry to say but although it's impressive what they did, you get the sense watching it that the actors are pasted onto their enviroments (see the 3rd chapter) which makes it hard to beleive harm will come to them. Giant robots fall to the ground with people standing what appears to be 5 feet away like it's nothing. The extras are good but you know there is going to be a 2 disc collectors edition out 5 months from now. I really wanted this to be a classic but something about it kept me from seeing it opening day in the theater. Glad I waited. Not a bad film at all, see it once for sure. |
Welcome to the Dollhouse - Todd Solondz is my kind of director. He treads where the Spielbergs, Sondehiem and Scott brothers would never have the balls to step into. TO be honest I didn't know he did this film, and the title was never in my old town's video store. Glad I finally got to see it. Heather Matarazzo is perfectly cast as a pre teen girl going thru the terrible stress of being 'odd looking' and a middle child. It's funny too cuz i knew a couple girls like this when I was young and all of them have grown up to be very attractive (as Heather Matarazzo has become) and well balenced girls. THey are curious about how the supposely 'right' people live and wonder when they will get their chance at things. I love they way it ended with her asking the kind of questions you do when you realise that this is the way things are. THe story is all over the place as it should be. Todd Solondz will throw situations and langauge in his films that might some people a little skiddy (check out Happiness & Storyytelling), but he does in a way that comes accross very 'natural'. People in this movie are acting instead of reading off paper. Her older brother in the film is very funny as well. My favorite part is when she's watching the musician she has a crush on eat food she prepared for him. He's hardly aware she's there sitting next to him while he munches down. It's a funny moment because you can see on Heather's face teen lust combined with the total innablilty to understand why or what to do. When you feel like this all you can do is stare and wonder. Great film. |
| Chronicles of Riddick - Watched this one right after Collateral. What were they thinking? The only saving point for me was that the movie had Alexa Davalos (used to appear in Angel from time to time) which was very nice to look at. Everything else was ridiculous on a level that I'm sure had the investors of this film more and more nervous the more they received cuts of the film. I was thinking with what they spent on making this film it could have benefited public schools in bad neighborhoods. Or perhaps more money to bring an alternative source of energy to man. Or maybe the money could have gone to making a much more affordable Sybian machine. ANything but what I saw. THe sound was good though, but these days just about all movies have great sound. |
Collateral - Say what you want about Tom Cruise, one things for sure.....he picks the scripts that pays the bils and always works with the best directors. HIs co-stars are usually very good. Take Jamie Foxx. Not excatly my cup of tea when it comes to actors but if he's in a movie with subject matter I can get into (ANy Given Sunday) I'll check it out. Tom Cruise was on as usual, but JAmie Foxx made this movie what it was. In fact I found the dialog more interesting then the action bursts. I'm sure their are a lot of poeple out there feeling like his taxi driver character, and at the same time you begin to see what drives Cruise's assassin character as well as the movie progresses. Given a different upbringing both characters were bright enough to shine in different professions. DOes the stroy have any homes? OF course, but it's still entertaining enough to warrant multiple viewings for yours truly. Overall one of the best of 2004 for me. |
Something's Gotta Give - All right movie. A bit awkward at times. Jack is mellowing out as he get's older for sure, and it's good to see someone play themselves at the age they are at (will you buy Harrison Ford as Indy again?). I didn't fall asleep, which is what these kind of "all black music soundtrack no black people in the movie" deals usually do. I'll say this, getting old sucks rat scrotum for sure. |
Looney Toons in action - I was really hoping this would be funnier than it was. About all I can say about it. Oh yeah, it had Daleks in it |
Gothika - This movie really is a good example of what's wrong with Hollywood. The premise is great, the first 30 to 40 minutes of the film is good, and then they dum it up. Worth a rental only, and you'll know how it ends after the first 15 minutes. At least I did. |
Belly of the Beast - Another Steven Seagal flick which get's back to the basics. He may be swollen now, but he still puts on a good show (the foreigner, , out for a kill, yakuza, unleashed, under seige 3) and he seems to want to have fun with these flicks which obviously must be easier for him to shoot overseas. R-rated violence with just enough plot to thread the action together. He's not going to be winning any oscars anytime soon, but nevertheless I am entertained. Hope he keeps making them just like this |
Freddy vs Jason - Not bad. Could have been much better, but then it would have to take itself seriously. I remember when horror movies where suppose to scare you. |
American Pie 2 - I laughed. That's all I can really ask for these Pie movies. |
Underworld (DVD) - Instant classic, on my all time favorites. Liked it even better the 2nd and 3rd time. I know it could have used some more money, and the vampires were basically people who shot guns, did filps, and stuck to ceilings when scared, but I still dig it. Looking forward to the sequels. Ramp up the Vamps please. |
Spiderman 2 - As you can tell by my lack reviews lately I've been skipping a lot of the pg-13 drivel they have been dropping at the theaters like turds. I'll catch that crap on rental. The spirits of 'non bullshit' spoke to me and their voices in my head would not stop until I saw this one. Holy shitfuck was this a good movie. 3 times better than the first one, which wasn't that bad. It was just missing some Spiderman things which this one got right (strength, smarts, ect). The action sequnces are so good that you have to take a deep breath and relax when they are done. The 'drama' is surprisingly real, and this time the romance aspect of the film added to its charm. Seeing Doc OC on the big screen tearing shit up while Spiderman cracks jokes made a tear roll down my right eye. In fact this movie was like reading the early black n white spiderman comics (the best). Sure it's a re-tread of Superman 2, but it doesn't get too much better than this at the movies. See it. See it frikkin now! Warning though, it takes it's sweet 'Dawson's Creek' time to get to the action sequences on repeat viewings. |
| The Bourne Supremacy - Well, it was a good matine movie. Not as good as the first for me. The action sequences were shot with that jerky / shaky camera style that makes it impossible to know what's really going on (mostly hand held camera). You also have one of the most dissapointing hand to hand action sequences put to film consdiering you have the best trained characters in the movie going at it. The way it was shot was horrible. The story was good but because there is no pay off in the action sequnces you just sort of follow it along. Also I expected more violence and ruthlessness from Jason Bourne, especially after the beginning set up. Reminds me of T2's approach lol. FOX's 24 has more adult violent content thant this thing did. I'm not ashamed to admit I like violent cool smart action movies. Too bad, it's Smartly written, but I was expecting more on the action side. Great cast, Matt Damon is very cool a Bourne (never liked Damon until the Bourne movies), the fault in this one is the direction. Why they needed a new director is beyond me anyway, the first one was top notch. I did like the various long shots of the various locations they were in, and the car chase was pretty nice. All in all a average flick, and clearly a testament to how the pg-13 rating has watered down adult action movies. - note: upon repeate |
I, Robot - I, Will Smith. Nuff said! Seriously though, a ok movie. The ending gets silly & rushed. Some cool parts in this movie, and some real dum one's. THe premise for the main crime that WIll Smith's character is investigating will make you laugh when they 'reveal' the why. Matine or rental.
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Hero - Well, I really wanted to like this one. It's a sight to behold as far as the look, but that's the thing. It's really a art movie. The action doesn't really mean anything because of the dis-jointed way the story is told. Too bad, top notch cast. |
Alien vs Predator - pg-13? This cold have been so good if they would have left the humans out of the story arc. The story is silly. There are parts that are nice to see, but trust me, it's only when the bad MF's battle. The main thing that kills this one is the story. It's hard to beleive that teams of writers, editors, script research people come up with crap like this. In fact that's how the movies have been for the past year. pg-13 forgettable junk. THis should have been a classic. |
